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ATF Agent Attacks Ninja

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Ninja Quick Fact

The secrets of ninjitsu were originally stolen from the Master of Sinanju. It has expended over the centuries and was taught to Batman.

(SNN Athens) Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents promoting Project Safe Neighborhoods detained a "suspicious individual" near Georgia Center. The suspicious individual in question was a ninja.

The ninja, Sophomore Jeremiah Ransom, said his treatment at the hands of the ATF agents was "surreal." “I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling when I heard someone yell ‘freeze.’” Ransom was coming from a pirate and ninja mixer, being hosted by the Wesley Foundation.

“Seeing someone with something across the face, from a federal standpoint — that’s not right,” McLemore said, explaining why agents believed something to be amiss. This just shows how our federal agents need to be more sensitive to ethnic minorities, especially in these times when immigration is such a hot issue. Ransom was merely wearing the traditional garb of the ninja.

We spoke Derrick Yardarm, a fourth generation Buccaneer American and a researcher in the field of pirate and ninja persecution. "Buccanneers an' ninjas be havin' had a long hard swashbuckle fer equality in this country," says Yardarm. " 'Tis this sort o' intolerance that shows us how far we be havin' t' go."

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