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The finger on the invisible hand

Great Grandmother Never a Mother

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Francis Harris gained nationwide attention in an Associated Press article. The 59 year old Grandmother claimed that she was pregnant with twins. It is now unclear whether she was ever pregnant at all. “The family of Mrs. Frances Harris regrets that this situation has occurred and apologizes for any inconvenience that may have caused,” said the statement, signed by Mrs. Harris and her son. “At this time, the family wishes to put this situation behind them and will not be making any more statements.”

The family of Mrs. Frances Harris regrets that this situation has occurred

Harris was under the care of Affinity Health Group, in Tifton. Officials from Affinity health group refused to comment. "We have no statements to make," Affinity spokeswoman Venita Kennedy said. It is unknown whether anyone actually checked with Harris’s doctors before the admission of her family. It probably would have been a good idea.

Harris’s daughter described her mother as grouchy

Harris is not answering her door or her phone, nor has she spoken to reporters for weeks. Originally, reporters were told that the twins were due on the 21st of December. When that date passed, a new date of December 28th was given by Harris’s daughter. At the time, Harris’s daughter described her mother as grouchy and complaining of having minor contractions.

What remains to be seen is if this news report will spread doubts on other claims made by the people of rural Georgia, such as the claim by Fred Jacobson, 78, that North Korea is trying to take over the Atlanta Braves, the theory of an unknown man claiming that Coke Classic is really New Coke, the statement by former Senator Zell Miller claiming that he had invented nacho cheese in the can, and multiple incidents of “probing”.

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