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The finger on the invisible hand

Terrorist Group Plans Indonesian Operation

Saturday, January 29, 2005

(SNN) British terrorist suspect, Yusuf Islam, formerly known as singer Cat Stevens will give a concert in the Indonesian capital Jakarta next week. He plans to use this concert to enlist collaborators to form a branch of his mysterious organization, Small Kindness.

The famous terrorist/ singer/ songwriter has written a new song “Indian Ocean”

The famous terrorist/singer/songwriter has written a new song “Indian Ocean” for the event. But Yusuf was quick to say that this was not the kickoff of a comeback tour. "This is not the return of Cat Stevens. I see this as a natural response to express my pain as a Muslim and as an artist," Yusuf said. It is not known whether he will be performing his 1970’s hits such as “Peace Train” and “Wild World”.

Yusuf’s terror connections are wide and deep.

Yusuf was deported from the United States last September after his name appeared on a security watchlist. Yusuf’s terror connections are wide and deep. Lately, there has been chatter that he may be working with Neil Pirmrose from the British group Travis and the ominous Magne Furuholmen of A-HA.

Yusuf will be one of the most prominent artists to perform in Indonesia for several months. A large number of big name acts have cancelled shows due to security concerns. It was feared that Islamic terrorists would use every means at their disposal to blow up Missy Eliot.

As in "blow up Missy Eliot", do you mean inflate and fly above you as if a Garfield ballon at a parade or disassemble her being into small piece of organic matter via the application of nefarious devices? Either way, it would make for interesting television.

As to Yusuf Islam, never trust a man that lives a peaceful life and proclaims peace. That man probably is one of those guys that is just waiting to snap the next time someone gets a little pork fat in his bowl of Bush Baked Beans Extra Hearty Islam Style. Maybe if we started shoving the big 16 oz cans of Bush Baked Beans up some people's asses, then something would get done in the world. Imagine Newt Gingrinch trying to contemplate running for presidential office in 2008 over the pain of having two grocery stores worth of Bush Baked Beans Original Style crammed up his thinking orifice.

Beans, the weapon of choice! Beans, the melodious secret behind Missy Eliot's voice!

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