NewsBlog 5000
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Editor’s Note: A New Era

Monday, March 28, 2005

Firstly, I would like to apologize to all of our readers. I had specifically informed all of my staff not to comment on the Terri Schiavo case. Unfortunately, Alice Humbees seems to have trouble reading my memos.

I am proud to announce a new column for NewsBlog 5000, “Skippy Does it All” by James Skippenofsky.

We are quickly approaching a full six months of NewsBlog 5000. While we are mostly satisfied with what we have accomplished, we looked upon the graduation of our intern Skippy, who writes the lion’s share of our articles, with trepidation. Skippy is not only a valuable member of our team, but is very popular with our readers. After discussing the Skippy situation with our investors, I am proud to announce a new column for NewsBlog 5000, “Skippy Does it All” by James Skippenofsky.

I also have the honor today to announce the newest member of our news team, Bunny Delicious. Bunny is the niece of Alice Humbees, a graduate of Yale, and performs twice a week at “le chat doux” a local gentlemen’s club. I have to admit, at first it was uncomfortable having Bunny rehearsing her act in the office, but we have become accustomed to her. Now she is just another member of the team, albeit a slightly less dressed one.

Dr Ryan Maynard, Editor