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Skippy Does It

Saturday, April 02, 2005

In this Skippy does it, Skippy refinances his house through an online lender.

As my first assignment for Skippy Does it, I decided to try out something I have always been intrigued with, online mortgage lenders. I found the process to be simple and relatively painless.

I had bought a house at a whopping 6.3 percent interest. And I was always getting emails from online refinancing companies for greatly reduced rates. So when Dr. Maynard asked me to write this new column, I knew what I would try.

Many people have a misconception of e-commerce. They believe that buying things over the internet is not as safe as your typical brick and mortar store. This is not the case at all. The internet can often be the source of the best deals from small companies that want to be able to compete outside their local markets and do not want the overhead of costly stores.

Wanting to rush the completion of the Mortgage process, I decided to pick a lender that had already approved me for a low rate. I chose the following message:

Dear Mrs. Skippenofsky

Like low rate, yes? 3.42%
Like good servise, yes? 24/17
Like partner, yes? we give you partner.

Call us? 0108903892823789
Email us? Frank@lenubanc.mv

I immediately put in a call to Frank. While he had a thick accent, I was able to understand Frank well, as one of my college professors came from an eastern block country. Frank explained to me that Lenubanc was more than just a lender. They wanted to treat me as a partner in home ownership. I confirmed the 3.42% interest rate and Frank sent me some documents to sign. I signed the documents, had them notarized and sent them back to Frank.

I have to say that I have been overwhelmed to the Lenubanc commitment to customer service. A few days after I mailed the papers in, Frank showed up at my door with a bottle of vodka and some fois grois. It was then that I learned the true meaning of the Lenubank partnership.

The papers I signed made Frank a part owner of my house. He moved into my spare room. I don’t want you to think that Frank just lives off of my house. He has really become part of my life. He helps with the bills and does some of the grocery shopping. He has truly become the partner as was promised.

Frank supplements his mortgage lending business by several small enterprises, which he runs from his office in my basement. He has also set up a small studio were he makes tasteful erotic films. I occasionally stand in as an extra in one of his films, or help Frank with his English on an email he’s sending to prospective customers. The money Frank pays me cuts my mortgage payments in half.

While some people may still be afraid of online purchases, I know I will no longer be. This one simple purchase has turned out not only to be a beneficial transaction, but a life altering experience.


Complaints:
Ooh, you're going to hell Mr. Skippy! You should have waited for the financers that say you are already preapproved for $400,000 at a low rate.
 
Where can we get those films??
 
Hilarious!
 
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