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Editor's Note: Harvard Sophomore again in Plagiarism Chair

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Harvard Sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan is under the scrutiny of the Press again for plagiarism. She is now being accused of copying passages from "Can You Keep a Secret?" a chick-lit novel by Sophie Kinsella.

Michelle Wei-previously mentioned hot Asian girl.

Now I think that the liberal media should lay off of Miss Viswanathan. My regular readers will remember I am a big fan of teenage Asian girls. But my readers will also ask, "Aren't you more interested in the Woody Allen type Asian girls? Well, I find Miss Viswanathan intriguing because she has something that not all young Asian girls have, a $500,000 advance.

But back to the issue of plagiarism, every word has already been written. Even my personal hero, Stephen Colbert was involved in a scandal for the use of the word "truthiness", a word he obviously coined.

Kaavya Viswanathan-hot enough barely legal Asian teen.

The simple fact is that every word written in the editorial has been written in a book somewhere, except for this one: Qwase. That because I just invented it. But let's face it we can't go inventing words because qwase fantis noneln npuk. You didn't understand that last bit, did you? Well that's because it's gibberish.

Also, it should be admitted that you can only tell the story of a young girl coming of age so many ways. In fact, the last original piece written on the topic was probably written by Jane Austin. Now, I don't know that for sure, because I don't read that kind of thing, but I'm pretty sure Jane Austin wrote it, and it was a long time ago. I think she wrote the movie "Clueless".

In Summary, leave Kaavya Viswanathan alone. She's reasonably hot. She's barely legal. She's Asian. And she's not using any words that haven't been used before. Unless she uses the word Qwase. Then I'm suing the bitch.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000


Complaints:
You are an idiot

Please stop writing things.
 
Dear Anony-mouse

It's obvious that you are not an American. Otherwise, you would know about a thing we call free speech. Here in the USA, it is not only our right but our responsibility to exercise this freedom.

We live in a country where anyone, even George Clooney, can boldly state his opinion on any subject, except that of the President. We are in a time of war. By opposing the George W. Bush, we give aid and comfort to the enemy.

Some liberal websites may have deleted your hateful comment. But that's not going to happen here, because we firmly believe in free speech.

Your IP address has been noted and you will no longer be able to comment here.
 
I don't care. (The other anonymous.)
 
Anonymous 2

That's very confusing. I'm not even sure it's legal to have two people posting under the same name.

But let me make this clear. If I wanted to hear other people's opinions, I would be reading, and not writing.
 
On second thought, I am the idiot. I big stew pot of idiotness. Smelly, farty-idiotocity. Wee. Idiots in a soup of idiot soup. I will idiot you. Become the idiot and fly the idiot skies. Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot. Idiot is the new Walmart. I got my "made in China" super idiot dispenser at Idiot.

Gee, to post as anonymous and tell someone that they are an idiot is idiotic.

But, yes, Dr. Maynard you should stop writing "things". Keep on writing your articles. I need my news feed.
 
That would be difficult. I don't actually write any of the articles here. They are written by unpaid interns, or just taken off the SNN wire.
 
You are a palagarist, Dr. Maynard. You didn't make up the word "Qwase". In fact, there is a man by the name of Nkululeko Qwase who ran for election in South Africa last year. You can verify this via Google.

You should hang your head in shame and return your $500,000 advance!

- Badtux the Irate Penguin

PS: My "word verification" word for this post was "raalf". Hmm. Are drunkards programming Blogger now?!
 
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