NewsBlog 5000
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Editor’s Note: Comedy Central is Banned

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Those of you who re-read our publication over and over may have noticed that some of the YouTube videos that we have made available are no longer able to play. This is because the Googles spent over a billions dollars for YouTube and in doing so, rendered it useless.

Studios like Comedy Central have forced Google to take down their content. Comedy Central of course gives most of this content away free on their website in a format that doesn’t work nearly as well. If too many people had easy access to their programming, they might take an interest and start watching their station. That would be anarchy, and I am told that anarchy is bad.

Secondly, I watch last night’s Daily Show and I was stunned. During a report on Columbus, OH, Samantha B wore a Hooters uniform while carrying her baby. It goes strictly against my beliefs in family values for her to be flaunting her Satan’s dumplings while holding an infant. Infants will never grow up to be healthy Republican youth if they are exposed to breasts. Furthermore, she should not be dressing so sexy while holding an infant because it makes it difficult to rub one out to her image, unless you are my good friend, Rush Limbaugh.

And this brings me to the final transgression. Last night, the once and future banned Stephen Colbert defended Rush against the horrible accusations made recently by Michael J. Fox. While Colbert was defending Rush, I once again felt that there was something in his voice that made him seem less than genuine in his defense of the utterly indefensible. That guy is not Sean Hannity.

So for these transgressions, I am going to put the entire channel of Comedy Central on our banned list. I was also considering Google, but that would be awkward, as they are our web host.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000


Complaints:
a little cranky, today!
 
How dare they take back my somewhat inappropriately obtained content.
 
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