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The finger on the invisible hand

Woman upset at interesting public access.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Long the standard for wholesome entertainment and the promotion of local events, local access cable in Akron, Ohio, has exploded. Avid cable television watcher, Debbie Valentine got caught in the blast. "What I saw was intercourse," the Debbie said. "This is beyond obscene. This had crossed into pornography."

This is beyond obscene. This had crossed into pornography.

One program, Rudy Robinson’s “Softballin”, which features local couples having sex, caught the attention of a local councilman. The councilman in question thought that the Saturday 12:30 AM timeslot was perfect for playing city council meetings. Robinson tried to compromise by splicing scenes from the council meeting into his show for awhile, but is supposedly not doing so anymore. We could get no comment by Mr. Robinson, who does not talk to the press. We can only guess that he has lost faith in the local government.

The introduction to another program “The 5 Dolla Half Hour” includes a picture of a vagina smoking a cigarette. But there is no surgeon general warning in the title sequence. This shows a blatant disregard for protecting innocent vaginas from the danger of tobacco. Although it must be admitted that, the Clinton administration pushed this particular cause back several years. Also, some people don’t think vaginas should be able to smoke at all. This, of course, goes against the principle of personal vaginal responsibility.

some people don’t think vaginas should be able to smoke at all

The President of AROC (Actively Reviving Ohio Communities) a non-existent but real sounding organization, Debbie claims to have received dozens of calls complaining about the public access stations. We could not find any records to substantiate whether these calls were actually made. Debbie also claims to be popular in the community, “I network with block-watches, so I know a lot of people." We could find no Akron residents who knew of Debbie’s or AROC’s existence.

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