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The finger on the invisible hand

Thompson steps down, plans to attack food supply

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Thompson says he worries about imported food “every single night”

Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson announced his resignation Friday. He stated, “It’s time for me and my family to move on to the next chapter in our lives.” Thompson supposedly tried to step down a year ago, but the White House asked him to stay on. In his resignation, the Secretary warned the United States about a possible attack on the food supply. “For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do,” he said. Thompson says he worries about imported food “every single night”.

Thompson went on to say, “They are just so stupid. Nobody listens to me. Sure they listen to Rummy and Wolfy and sometimes Rice, but Health and Human Services? Hell No. Sometimes I think about attacking the food supply myself, just to see the look on their smug faces.” Thompson went on to discuss how he also fears an attack on Air Supply, whose Australian soft rock ballads were a staple of early 80s radio. If you are interested in reading Thompson’s infallible 15 part plan to poison the United States, copies are available on Aljazeera.Net.

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