NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

Missile Strikes Northwest

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Officials across the Pacific Northwest were flooded with calls from startled residents last night. People all the way from Northern California to Washington reported seeing a fiery object light up the sky at about 7:45 p.m. Saturday. While the mainstream media was quick to support a meteor strike, not everyone is so sure.

While the mainstream media was quick to support a meteor strike, not everyone is so sure.

Duane Phelps is someone who is not convinced on the official story. “It says right in the paper that Scientists think it were a meteor that hit. But right below that, they say that meteors that turn into fireballs are uncommon.” Phelps was quick to point out logical flaws in the story that the mainstream media is telling. “This feller here, Dick Pugh, says it was a meteor, but he also works for the ‘Cascadia Meteorite Laboratory’, so he obviously has some conflict of interest involved in making people think about meteors.” Phelps also said that the object seemed to be moving quite slowly for a “normal meteor”.

Phelps also said that the object seemed to be moving quite slowly for a “normal meteor”.

Phelps blames Al-Qaeda or possibly Russia for the missile attack. “Al-Qaeda definitely has the motive, hating our freedom and all, and if they got a hold of a missile, I’m sure they’d launch it at us.” Phelps holds a different theory on the Russian motivation. He continued, “Russia on the other hand, if it was them, they were probably just bored. They have all those old missiles just burning a hole in their pockets. And, it gets awfully cold up there this time of year, not a lot to do. They have been awfully buddy-buddy with the Iranians lately though.”

FEMA stated that the object was probably a fragment from a meteor shower that was expected this week. Jim Todd, planetarium director of the Oregon Museum of Science & Industry said the meteor might not have even been noticed if it had entered the atmosphere during the daytime.

Despite his conviction that the object was a missile attack, Phelps says he is unconcerned. “They can go ahead and throw anything at me. I have my plastic and duct tape, just like I was told. I am ready.”


Complaints: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link