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Shark Attacks Hot College Girl

Thursday, June 30, 2005

(SNN St. Petersburg) Just one day after we told you about the impending danger to America from sharks, they have attacked again. This time the target was a hot college girl.

Just as she set down her fishing pole and dangled her legs over the side, a large shape appeared in the water and started coming straight toward her. "It leaped out of the water about 5 feet away from me. I pulled my feet up really fast and it started snapping its jaws. I was so scared I forgot to take my finger off the button and just kept clicking,” said Hot College Girl.

Hot College Girl stood on the dock, frozen with fear, and watched the 6-foot shark thrashing about so close to her she got wet from the splashing. "I was afraid to head in," Hot College Girl said. "I thought it would follow me."

Even after this further aggression, some liberals say that sharks are not a danger to our nation. Liberals like Bob Hueter, director of the Center for Shark Research at Sarasota's Mote Marine Laboratory, who says, “Absolutely in no way does this reflect attack or aggressive behavior," he said. "My guess is this animal is having severe problems and she (Hot College Girl) just happened to be in the area and caught it on film. Her presence there had nothing to do with it. This species doesn't go after large prey."

The shark was a mature blacktip. And while the liberal Hueter says that they are not aggressive animals, he admits that they are responsible for 16% of all shark attacks. We would like to ask Mr. Hunter: How many innocent hot American girls must be targeted before an animal is considered aggressive? This is the type of nonsense we can expect from elitist liberal “experts”.

I think you're giving the sharks a pretty hard rap, Dr. Maynard. See, if innocent hot college girls are the poor victims of attack, then how many horny college males can be considered "animals"?

We certainly don't need another hot surfer walking around with a nub for an arm. Have them bite some fat bitch that weighs 300 lbs who can afford to share some of that with the shark. These hot college girls are slim, trim and hot; they cannot afford to share any of their body mass with a shark.

In looking at the black tip statistics you must consider that if they are 35% of the shark population then that 16% number is actually pretty good and they would have to then be considered one of the safest sharks.

Look at it this way, if all cars in this country were blue then 100% of car accidents would have been caused by blue cars. Are blue cars inherently dangerous?

You're either with us or the sharks.
Dude that chick is hot.
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