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Rehnquist will Decide Departure

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

(SNN London) By now, most people know that Chief Justice William Rehnquist has put an end to the wave of speculation on his retirement. What most people do not know is that Rehnquist will be the one to not only decide his departure from the high court, but also from the mortal coil.

Rehnquist has put an end to the wave of speculation on his retirement

Some blame Rehnquist for the speculation on his retirement. Earlier this year when asked about his retirement by a reporter, Rehnquist told him, "That's for me to know and you to find out."

What most people don’t know is that according to a high ranking anonymous source Rehnquist has entered into a deal with a Mantus Pissuart, a self styled voodoo priest living in London.

They come to me because I get results

"They come to me because I get results," says the 80 year old priest, who came to England from Africa 47 years ago. According to Pissuart, he preformed a ceremony in which he cut Rehnquist with a knife, beat him with a belt and shoe, and rubbed Chili oil in the Chief Justice’s eyes. According to Pissuart, Rehnquist felt much better after the ceremony.

According to Pissuart, while Rehnquist may remain sick, he will not die until he decides that it is time, or he is attacked by 5 black roosters. Rehnquist contacted Pissuart after he helped John Paul Stevens relieve himself of evil spirits.


Complaints:
He'd not go through all that "voodoo" just to add some extra years to his life. No, I can offer him the miracle life exilir!

Skippy's Protein Enriched DNA Shake. Drink one three or five or nineteen times a day to add moments to your life... and to get Skippy off.

Speaking of Skippy, he's probably already familiar with the cow milker.
 
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