NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Congressional Probe Threatens Vampire Travel

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

(SNN Washington) Yesterday, the U.S. Congress opened an investigation into a string of disappearances aboard luxury crew ships. This probe greatly threatens the future of the vampire travel industry.

People have been disappearing from luxury liners for years, allowing vampires to travel in the luxury that they expect and desire. However, Republican Chris Shays of Connecticut has now put together a congressional committee to study these disappearances. The sudden interest by Republican Chris Shays of Connecticut was spurred by the disappearance of George Allen Smith IV.

Smith's case is a puzzling one. On the 11th day of his honeymoon, Smith was seen drinking heavily and gambling until early in the morning. People in neighboring cabins heard thuds, male voices, and furniture being moved around. The next morning, Mr. Smith's cabin was found drenched in blood. Also, a large blood stain was found on an awning above lifeboats to levels below his cabin. Royal Caribbean officials say that Smith probably just went for a walk on the balcony and went a little too far.

Ironically Smith's disappearance probably was not the result of vampires. It is well known that when they come upon a drunken couple, male vampires will go for the female nine times out of ten, unless they are "Anne Rice" vampires. Yet in this case, the vampires will be the real victims.

Complaints: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link