NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Editor's Note

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Earlier in the week, I intimated to our readers that our senior writer, James Skippenofsky, had been sent to the Swiss Alps for rehabilitation. Several of our readers have asked me how we are continuing to produce articles despite the fact that we are now without our senior writer.

Well, you may have remembered from James's column, Skippy Does It All, that he has a friend of somewhat reputable background named Frank. For some time, Frank has been trying to get me to take a Russian bride. Being that I'm not too good with computers, and it may be some time until James returns, I decided that Frank's plan would offer an ideal opportunity to get some additional labor around the office. This is especially advantageous because we had no real budget for additional help, and pesky labor laws prevent me from firing James for an injury that happened due to my own negligence. When will the government stop interfering with small-business?

Despite the occasional rough moment, my new wife Milika has proved invaluable around the office. Not only is she skilled with the use of computers, but she has a keen grasp on the international situation, probably due to the brief stint she spent as a translator for the KGB.

I hope that this quick note has satisfied everyone's curiosity.

Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000

Dear Editor Maynard,

I am deeply disturbed by the Alice Humbee add on your site. The word is actually "masturbate." Get a grip (pause) on your spelling!! I know what you thought.

thank you.

Actually, Alice wrote that copy herself. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she were unable to spell masturbation.
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