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The finger on the invisible hand

Rich Man Builds Fiefdom

Monday, February 20, 2006

(SNN Tampa) Someone once said that it was harder for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven, it was probably one of those liberals like Ed Asner. But one rich man has a plan to get himself into heaven, he's building his own city and naming it after God's mother.

The city will be named Ave Maria and is being built by millionaire Tom Monaghan, founder of Domino's pizza. Monaghan wants to build a community based on his strict conservative Catholic values. The town of 11,000 homes will also include a large cathedral and Catholic University.

Monaghan is also going to control all the commercial real estate, making sure that people cannot lay their hands on things unapproved by Catholicism, such as gay bars, rich food, cable television, and pharmacies.

While the project has received several inquiries about the homes they're building, it has been projected that only 10 of the houses will have to be sold. Then, without access to cable television or contraceptives, the community will easily grow to 11,000 families within just three generations, or about 27 years.

Some say that Monaghan is crazy. But Monaghan says, "I believe all of history is just one big battle between good and evil. I don't want to be on the sidelines." This should erase any doubts on the mental state of Mr. Monaghan.

But Mr. Monaghan should be careful. While religious oppression was very popular in the past, in modern times it is unlikely to meet the same popularity as piping hot pizza delivered fresh to your door.

Religious zealotry earns Domino's yet another check on my shit list. The first check is because the pizza sucks.

Don't buy Domino's! They murder freedom!
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