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2006 May Be Bad Year for Lawyers

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

(SNN Carson City) As many of our regular readers probably do not know, Dick Cheney recently shot a lawyer right in the face. Now, lawyers around the country are afraid that this might start a new trend.

Dick Cheney recently shot a lawyer right in the face.

As people always in the limelight, presidents often start the latest craze. Franklin Delano Roosevelt brought back the popularity of, as it was acceptable to call them then, cripples. It was well documented that teenagers knew nothing about oral sex before President Clinton received it in the Oval Office. In addition, Texas saw a massive increase in horse masturbation after speech by the first lady last year.

Well before this incident, no one would have even considered shooting a lawyer. Now that Vice President Cheney has shot a lawyer and gotten away seemingly scot-free, it seems only a matter of time before an open season on lawyers begins.

Shakespeare indeed wanted them dead.

Despite this recent trend about to begin, there is somewhat of a historical perspective. In Shakespeare's Henry VI, a character suggests, "the first thing we do is kill all the lawyers." However, several lawyers have twisted the statement to mean that Shakespeare actually liked lawyers. Interestingly enough, some people say the very fact that lawyers have argued this shows exactly why Shakespeare indeed wanted them dead.

No matter if lawyers now become a target of violence or not, one thing is for certain. There will soon be a class-action suit against Vice President Dick Cheney for putting their lives in danger.


Complaints:
Re the previous post -- I remember years ago, they had "Land Sharks" on Saturday Night Live. I wonder if this is a case of life imitating art?

Re this post about lawyers -- I have had many boyfriends who were lawyers over the years and they're really not so bad. At least, once you get past the issues about how they acquire their customer base, or how their guy is the pawn in a larger picture, or how people like O.J., Blake, Gacy, Bundy, Speck, Starkweather didn't really do it -- stuff like that. Hmmm, maybe it's some kind of confluence that led to the shark article immediately preceding the lawyer article. (See, I can leave a comment without including the word asshole. Oops!)
 
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