NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

GPS Game Once Again Threatens Liberty

Thursday, February 16, 2006

(SNN Bethlehem) At 5:30 a.m. Tuesday morning a Pennsylvania DOT worker saw a woman in dark clothes walking down a hill, pause by a tree, turnaround and get on a bus. The worker knew at once that she must be a terrorist.

Written on this box was the mysterious phrase "this is a game."

The worker then followed the woman's footprints and found an unattended box with a combination lock. Written on this box was the mysterious phrase "this is a game." The worker then made the assumption that anyone would make, that someone had planted a bomb on a tree.

What the technicians had actually found was what is commonly referred to as a geocache. A geocache is a part of an anonymous treasure hunting game called geocaching. Proponents say the game is a great way to get up off the couch. However, police argue that getting people up off their couch is a danger to our society.

After an investigation of the box, two bomb squad technicians broke the lock. Inside they found a notebook, maps, stuffed animals, and toys. Despite a vigorous interrogation by police, the stuffed animals refused to reveal any details.

But from there, the story gets bizarre. The person who planted the box in the first place, Dean Guth, called the police. He was so arrogant, that he had actually asked the Parks Commissioner, Charlie Brown, for permission to put it there. But, police had harsh words for the Parks Commissioner as well. "He's a clown, that Charlie Brown," says Lt. Joe Chernaskey, "he's going to get caught, just you wait and see."

Police say that people caught setting Geocaches could be charged the thousands of dollars that it takes for the bomb squad to react to one of these situations. Others point out this is a pretty steep fine for what is essentially littering.

"Just because something is marked as being a game doesn't mean that's what it is," Sarnicky said. "Bad people have a tendency to try and disguise things, and we have no choice but to treat it like it could be a bomb." Sarnicky has spent his entire career hunting down an international terrorist known as Milton Bradley.

Dean Guth, issued a further threat to police, "[Police] just have no concept how widespread this game is, and I'm not the only one involved," Guth said. Another avid geocacher also threatened police with terrorist action "This is something people can have an absolute blast doing."


Complaints:
What a bunch of fucking silly people living in the state of terror awareness. God fuck them all, they think that they can undo 11 September when we were more aware that some shit was going down. How can this wall walking butt fucking inbred mojo rapers do anything to stop terrorism? So the average jihadist knows not to disguise his gogoblastoheavenbomb as a geocache. I thought disguising your-one-way-ticket-to-paradise-bomb as a commercial jet liner full of passengers very genius in the sense the 1000 A.D. sense of sleeping in the same shit filth bedding of your animals and fucking anything warm in the ass including your children.

I think the best campaign we can come up with stop terrorism is the "Give A Muslim A Hug Day" or the more supportive "Kick a Dane in the Nuts Day Because They Should Observe Our Fucking Middle Ages Culture Bastards Assholes and Pig Fuckers Day."

Blowing up a geocache box attached to a tree is just as silly as burning down a Danish embasy because your assbackwards culture must observe its retarded sense of iconclasticism.

If I was proficient with ascii art, I would embed an ascii art picture of a guy in a turbin resembling allah buttfucking a goat licking the balls of some terroism-fascist police chief masturbating to some Rambozo blasting the fuck out of geocache which, if the telephone was used, could be identified by another city worker as a geocache drop.

No, we want to emulate the terrorist to much! We want to blow shit up too! What about those suspicious white boxes in the women's room and in truck stops everywhere? I bet those need some blowing the fuck up too! Man, let's just blow this fucking world up with a few big bombs to make it safe from terrorism.

fuck the rambos, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck them all!
 
Hopefully I didn't write my last response to long since most fuckers don't have the ability to parse anything more than ten words and a punchline.

Whores. I am a whore too. So don't feel bad.
 
Gosh, I guess this means I'll have to remove geocache's from my list of 'ways women would be better at disposing of murdered bodies than men are'. Hmmm. Well, there's still the trash compacter, the garbage disposal, and the self-cleaning oven.
By the way, cowfucker, keep your nose out of those white boxes in women's rest rooms. You snoopy asshole.
 
I can not believe how much the author of this twisted the facts. It wasn't bad enough the news media slanted the facts but this person really made it worse. I know what really happened because I was involved.

Fren-Z
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link