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Military Incursion Thwarted by CNN

Thursday, May 25, 2006

(SNN Salt Lake City) Recently, Vicente Fox, President of Mexico, attacked the Southwestern United States. Fortunately, "Lou Dobbs Tonight" caught on and was there to thwart him from his evil plans to take back an area of the Untied States that once belonged to Mexico, known to some white supremacist groups as "Aztlan".

CNN was able to obtain a map from the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), who the Southern Poverty Law Center describes as a hate group. And the SPLC has a bit of a point. The CCC has characterized blacks as a "retrograde species" and promoted Neo-Nazi materials. However, the CCC has a positive side. Because they hate all black people, by extension, they hate Michael Jackson.

Some have been demanding an apology by CNN. In a statement, CNN called the incident "regrettable" and blamed the usage of the map on "a freelance field producer in Los Angeles". In other news, Lou Dobbs is now CNN's newest freelance field producer in Los Angeles.

According to "Lou Dobbs Tonight" correspondent Casey Wian, "You could call this the Vicente Fox Aztlan tour, since the three states he'll visit -- Utah, Washington, and California -- are all part of some radical group's vision of the mythical indigenous homeland." This seems a little confusing, as Washington never belonged to Mexico, and even the CCC does not include Washington on its Aztlan map. However, this labeling becomes less confusing if you take into consideration that Wian is an idiot.