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The finger on the invisible hand

Editor’s Note: Why the Secret?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

In an attempt to determine whether they can be tried in front of a military commission, at least three terrorism suspects received secret hearings.

A combatant status review tribunal determines whether a detainee is an "enemy combatant." Once foreign detainees are so classified, they may be charged and tried before a military commission. As a citizen, I find this appalling. Why would we have to hold secret meetings for terrorists? Instead of coddling them with hearings and military courts, we should act like real Americans.

These “suspected” terrorists should have to compete for their life on reality television, complete with live executions. It would be a morale booster for the American people, like watching Jack Bauer kick ass on 24.

How about real survivor? We could put ten of them on an island and wait for them to go all “Lord of the Flies.”

Let’s make a deal: If you give up information on Osama, we’ll give you a jet ski. Otherwise you’ll have to settle for the water board.

How about a dating game: Terrorists answer questions and go on dates with a really hot girl. Whoever impresses the girl the most gets to go on a cruise that ends back at his cell in Guantanamo. The other two are shot.

My favorite show idea is called “The Terrorist Whisperer with Lindy England.” Viewers at home would quickly learn how to use a choke chain.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, Newsblog 5000

“The Terrorist Whisperer with Lindy England.”
Spewing here.
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