NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Bush pushes to end immigration logjam

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

(SNN Boston) Today’s Boston Globe features an article entitled “Bush pushes to end immigration logjam”. This is a compelling headline because it suggests the president is having anal sex with illegal aliens.

Anal sex with aliens is a long documented event. However, it is usually space aliens, and they are usually the ones doing the pushing. Usually, they do this to spread their alien seed, which is only effective when entering through the back door.

However, the suggestion that illegal aliens could procreate via anal sex is a new one, but may go far in explaining paranormal phenomena such as Alberto Gonzalez. While no one denies Gonzalez is a citizen of the United States, circumstantial evidence suggests that he may be descended from aliens. The only question that remains is: when Gonzalez serves at the pleasure of the President, is he the pitcher or the catcher.

Editor’s Note:
The editors of Newsblog 5000 would like to apologize to the entire world for that last article. Don’t bother writing in, we know, it was in poor taste and we are sorry. So, let’s discuss something less offensive. Hey, did you here that Apple sold 100 million iPods. That’s a whole lot of iPods.

Who needs aliens from outer space when we have a monkey in the White House fucking everyone?
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