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The finger on the invisible hand

Editor’s Note: Gupta is no Sicko

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Yesterday on CNN, Michael Moore accused Dr. Sanjay Gupta of being little more than a paid shill of the pharmaceutical industry. Wolf Blitzer contended that Dr. Gupta was a well-respected journalist and surgeon.

It is impossible that anyone would think Gupta is a paid shill. Due to my advanced weight, I spend a significant time in the doctor’s office. In that office is a kiosk paid for by a pharmaceutical company that plays snips of Sanjay Gupta followed by commercials on what drugs to take to fix the condition he has just explained. Gupta does not do the commercials himself; there is clear separation. While I don’t know this for a fact, I’m sure Gupta does this out of a sense of service to the community and takes no money from the pharmaceutical company.

What Moore fails to understand is that Gupta is also unimpeachable as a doctor because he is on CNN. That kind of face time is worth much more than a bunch of living patients. He was a neurosurgeon. Now, I’ve never poked around in a brain, but I have seen Hannibal. I’m pretty sure that anyone who could cut open someone’s head is capable of anything. However, Gupta was such a good neurosurgeon that he was bumped up to being a journalist. As a journalist myself, I can assure you anyone who calls themselves a journalist is at least ten times smarter than a neurosurgeon and the same goes for the President.

Moore then wasted Blitzer’s time by complaining that Blitzer didn’t do enough to inform the public about Weapons of Mass Destruction. Mr. Moore should get on board with that fact that we didn’t go to Iraq because they had Weapons of Mass Destruction, but because we needed to restore peace and order to the lives of the Iraqi people.

Moore and Blitzer should have discussed the successes of America’s medical system. The reason our system looks average is that they are looking at averages. There is no better country on earth at extending the life of those who can pay. Sure a few poor people might have to die so that rich person can life another year, but that is just capitalism at work.

Finally, I’d like to remind you that Moore is tremendously fat. He is the reason why there is so much strain on our health system. Yes, Moore personally. He just doesn’t want to use his millions to pay his doctor’s bills.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, Newsblog 5000

But . . . Most significantly, Sanjay Gupta is HOT HOT HOT!!! So fuck you, you Republican asshole.
CNN RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 10 Reasons why CNN is better than the BBC World Service:

10) We can afford James Earl Jones to read our tagline. So there BBC!!

9) Graphics! You call those graphics!! Heck, we spend more on our graphics than you spend on your whole show!!! Shows what you get when you allow commercials to run half the time.

8) Larry King - I learn so much from that man!

7) BBC files stories from Mauritius and Mali and stupid countries like that that don't even exist.

6) No crane shots in studio.

5) Who cares about the climate in Cambodia. Do they even *have* climate in Cambodia?

4) I like commercials. They're almost as slick as the news itself!!

3) The BBC calls people "communist" or "socialist" like it's some kind of sociopolitical viewpoint, instead of the evil mark of the beast we all know it to be. Who writes the copy at the BBC anyhow? Might it be... SATAN!!! Some Red Chinese illegal alien from Mexico who is left of Chavez and globalizing away the jobs of the American middle class because of Red China!!!!! (That's news, by the way!!!)!!!

2) They talk too much. It hurts my head. I like my news short and snappy!

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