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Several Pieces of Shit found in Senate

Saturday, June 16, 2007

(SNN Washington) According to a Capitol Hill newspaper, police are unable to determine how "several large piles of actual, non-metaphorical 'No. 2' found their way into the Capitol."

On Wednesday, Capitol Police cordoned off the hallway of the third floor of the Senate side of the Capitol building. Even United States Senators were unable to avoid at least three large piles of adult human feces. It was also rumored that various seats in the gallery were defecationally challenged as well.

Originally, authorities believed that the perpetrator acted alone. However, the amount of material found has caused some conspiracy theorists to speculate that there may have been a second shitter. Also, due to the speed of the attack, some believe that the actual emission may have happened in a different area, such as a nearby grassy knoll.

It is not know if the action was politically motivated.

As a result of this assault on our nation's government, all visitors to federal building will now be rectally searched so authorities can determine if they are carrying feces.

Hat tip to Hill for drawing attention to this important story.


Complaints:
OMG, I couldn't wait to get over here to see your take on it.

Naturally, I was NOT disappointed.

This is frigging HILARIOUS!

"As a result of this assault on our nation's government, all visitors to federal building will now be rectally search so authorities can determine if they are carrying feces."

OK, I am officially ROTFLMAO!
 
How ya doin', Doc?
 
I can't complain.

I loved your Father's Day post.
 
My best guess is that it was an inside job. A pissed off Republican.
He, he, he.
 
I want pictures.
 
No no, BBC. If it was a pissed-off Republican, it would have been, like, actual piss, not shit. Hmm, now that I think about it, I wonder if the Capitol Building has had a strong smell of urine lately? Hmm...

If you ask me, the rectal exams should start with every Senator and Representative. Though I'm not sure what would be accomplished. We already know they're all full of shit.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin
 
I suggest that the FBI start by finding out who was scheduled for a colonoscopy the next day.
 
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