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Surgeon General Candidate has Rectal Knowledge

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

(SNN Washington) President Bush’s nominee for Surgeon General, James Holsinger took fire over a paper written in 1991 for the United Methodist Church.

The paper was called the “Pathophysiology of Male Homosexuality.” One piece of evidence used by the paper was the fact that the anus is not self-lubricating. It is surprising a White House nominee understands the minutia of his appointed position in such great, scientific detail. Holsinger also pointed out that pipe fittings came in male and female variety, showing his versatility and suitability to also handle the coveted post of Secretary of Drains and Fixtures.

Other papers written by Holsinger suggests he believes stem cell research will lead to gigantic killer half-human half-jackrabit mutants, teenagers can be talked into not having sex, and abortion clinics will one day be struck down by the fist of an angered god.

It will most likely be revealed that Holsinger snorts massive amounts of crank while sodomizing young, male prostitutes with a crucifix. Most likely this revelation will come a few days after he is confirmed.

It sounds like he has his head up his own well lubricated ass.

It's nice to see you are still here & as witty as ever.

Get it up, get it in, get it on, but don't mess up her hair dooooo.

Talk kids into not having sex, yeah, right. Just fix them so they can't make more idiots I say.

There's already enough of us idiots on this planet.
Well technically if your ass sweats, its lubricated to some degree. And if "self lubricating" is the litmus test then wouldn't a hand job from your wife be a sin?

Blow jobs ok, hand jobs not ok??
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