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Kerik Quits After Examining Naughty Nanny

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Last night, at 8:30 PM Eastern Time, former Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik made a phone call to President Bush. Kerik informed Bush that he was taking himself out of consideration for the position of Secretary of Homeland Security. Kerik’s official reason for taking himself out of the running is the immigration status of a housekeeper and nanny he employed. Kerik wrote in a letter to Bush, “I am convinced that, for personal reasons, moving forward would not be in the best interests of your administration, the Department of Homeland Security or the American people.”

Kerik sits on the Taser Board of Directors

Despite Kerik’s stated reasons for stepping down, many believe the reason may be conflict of interest allegations. Kerik sits on the Taser Board of Directors and has made many millions of dollars by exercising stock options. In spite of this fact, the reasons stated for his withdrawal are not untypical of nominees.

In 1993, Zoe Baird and Judge Kimba Wood were both forced to withdraw from consideration for an Attorney General nomination after disclosures of employing illegal aliens. In 2001, Linda Chavez withdrew as nominee for Labor Secretary after disclosing she had housed and paid an illegal immigrant 10 years earlier. This should serve as a lesson to anyone with aspirations of a cabinet post. A cheap nanny seems like a good deal now, but someday that nanny will grow up and need room to run. Or is that puppies?

Bush has experienced problems recruiting millionaires from all walks of life.

This last withdrawal comes as quite a blow to President Bush. Bush has experienced problems recruiting millionaires from all walks of life. Nomination was refused by an unnamed CEO, who he had asked to be Sec. of Energy. Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) declined a position as Agriculture Secretary. An adamant fan of baseball, Bush had offered the Department of Health and Human Services to Sammy Sosa, but Sosa declined the nomination. In an unprecedented move, Bush has also been turned down by Paris Hilton.

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