NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Editor’s Note: Finding Alice Humbees

Monday, February 21, 2005

Adrian and I have returned, and we have brought with us Alice Humbees. We at NewsBlog 5000 would like to apologize to all those who were injured both physically and emotionally during her capture, especially Ward Churchill.

We had originally thought that Alice was heading for Mexico, and that was her intention, but in her addled state, she somehow ended up at Ward Churchill’s press conference last Tuesday. Because of her comments, and the altercation that ensued, she was taken in by the Colorado State Police. We also would like to thank C-Span for editing her out of their broadcast.

We were unable to catch up to Alice in Colorado, as she had been released before we could get there, but by that time, she was out of gas and scotch. As far as we can tell, she began hitchhiking south to Las Vegas, where she was parking cars in the Imperial Palace. After her destruction of a Lexus SUV due to flash flooding and a badly timed nap, Adrian and I found her fleeing the parkade, soaking wet. Only pausing briefly for a buffet and a few megabucks plays, we returned her to the NewBlog 5000 offices.

Heh. Glad Alice is back home.
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