Memory Problems Continue to Plague Federal Government
Friday, July 29, 2005
(SNN Washington) Panic grows among congressmen and administration members alike as a growing mental epidemic sweeps through Washington. Many fear that if they catch the disease they will be unable to effectively govern.
Bolton is an upstanding, aboveboard citizen who would never attempt to mislead congress
Not long after John Roberts forgot that he had belonged to the Federalist Society, a new shock hit Washington. John Bolton, President Bush’s nominee for the post of United Nations Ambassador, forgot that he went before the joint State Department - CIA probe into the US government’s use of forged Niger papers.
Fortunately for Bolton, who is an upstanding, aboveboard citizen who would never attempt to mislead congress, the problem is being corrected. “When Mr. Bolton completed the forms during the confirmation process, he did not recall being interviewed by the State Department's inspector general. Therefore his form as submitted was inaccurate. He will correct it," State Department spokesman Noel Clay said.
The question remains, what is causing this horrible malady? Some say that President Bush may be a carrier of some sort of degenerative brain disease, which would not affect him but spread through randomly kissing friends and supporters, as he is apt to do. Others say that many in our government have fallen to the methamphetamine epidemic that has swept through our country. But for now, despite the efforts of our best scientists, no one knows for sure.
It was once being theorized that the plague of mental illness was only striking Bush nominees, which would make the malady much easier to isolate, unfortunately, early yesterday morning, it struck the House of Representatives.
Rep. Charles Taylor (R-NC) was sure that he had voted against the Central American Free Trade Agreement. He believed it so adamantly, that he even released a statement to the press about it. “I voted NO on the Dominican Republic-Central America Free Trade Agreement (DR-CAFTA) in the vote last night. I informed the Majority Leader and the Appropriations Chairman I was voting no, as I had informed my constituents I was voting no. Rep. Howard Coble and I voted "no" together,” said Rep. Taylor.
Fortunately, Rep. Charles Taylor, whose is known throughout the world for his stylish basketball shoes, was able to go back and have the House Clerk record the vote against the wishes of his party whip after his vote no longer mattered.