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Snow White is ready to Kick Ass

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

(SNN Beijing) The classic children’s tale Snow White is about to be remade. This time Snow White will be a martial arts epic replacing the 7 dwarves with Shaolin Monks. The remake is going to be remade by none other than Walt Disney.

Snow White will be a martial arts epic

Some executives at the Walt Disney Company did not believe that the 1937 animated classic had driven the original Grimm Brothers fairytale deeply enough into the ground and they decided that the tale would be perfect for making inroads into the Chinese animation market. The Chinese animation market exploded after animators were laid off by the Disney company, which has started using computer animation.

Mary Poppins which will feature a cyborg maid with large breasts

The new Snow White is but the first of Disney remakes for the Asian market. Others included Mary Poppins which will feature a cyborg maid with large breasts who finds true love despite her mechanized anatomy, the Little Mermaid will be replaced by a genetically altered amphibious assault clone with vampire like teeth and a taste for human flesh, and The Absent Minded Professor will be shot in the first scene of a film featuring two child assassins fighting for the secret of flying rubber.

When asked how it felt to be removed from his soul, one Disney executive said, “It hurts at first, but then the ideas just start flowing and you forget about everything else.”


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