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Starbucks Coffee is Gay

Monday, August 29, 2005

(SNN Washington) When Starbucks began putting quotes on their coffee cups, they intended for the quotes to spark conversation. They have achieved that goal.

"The wise healer endures the pain. Cry. Tears bring joy." Erykah Badu, liberal

The Concerned Women for America, which promotes itself as the antithesis for the National Organization of Women has called for a boycott of Starbucks. Or at least their husbands have told them to call a boycott. They argue that the sayings on their coffee cups are too liberal.

The group believes that corporations have a responsibility to reflect diversity. For instance, it should be unfair to employ a black person in a coffee shop unless you employ a Klansman. If you quote a gay person on your cup, you should include a quote from Fred Phelps’s “God Hates Fags” ministry. Or, if you have a quote from a women’s rights activist, you should also have a quote from an aborted fetus. This boycott marks the first time a conservative group has believed a corporation should be responsible for anything.

"Mother-love is not inevitable. The good mother is a great artist, ever creating beauty out of chaos." Alice Randall, liberal

Starbucks claims that they only wanted to spark conversation by putting the words of artists, musicians, educators, activists and athletes, all well knows sources of liberalism, with the exception of football players (American rules only). In the future, the company is planning to expand the number of quotes by adding quotes of Starbucks regulars, also known for their liberalism.

The corporation has refused to back down on its crusade to make conservatives gay. If this trend continues, the next time you walk into a coffee shop, you may be surrounded by liberals and homosexuals.

What do you mean "next time"?
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