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Dennis Kucinich Marries Hot English Woman

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

(SNN Cleveland) Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich married a British woman, Elizabeth Harper, possibly quieting rumors that the long time bachelor may be gay.

Kucinich and Harper married in front of the Cleveland city hall, where Kucinich was once mayor. “The congressman really wanted to do this in the heart of Cleveland,'' said Kucinich's spokesman. Guests included Shirley MacLaine and Sean Penn.

This is Kucinich’s third marriage, because elves like Kucinich live much longer than regular human beings, it will most likely not be his last. As the years take their toll on Harper, Kucinich will remain young and boyish. The marriage follows Kucinich’s unfavorable appearance on the syndicated program “Truth or Date” during the New Hampshire primaries.

Kucinich is one of the only members of congress actively trying to put a stop to the war, out of control military spending and mind control coming from space. Many in congress opposed Kucinich’s bill, claiming that it would shut down satellites repeating MTV broadcasts.


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