NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Go Ask Alice

Friday, September 30, 2005

Are you sick with those bland syndicated advice columns? Alice Humbees has got the pill for you. Would you like to Go Ask Alice?


This girl started working where I work about a month ago. She is very hot. I’ve always believed that if you like someone, you should ask them out, because they worst thing they could do is say no. The other day at work, I wrote her a note telling her that I think she is beautiful, and that I had wanted to ask her out for quite some time. I asked in the note if maybe we could go shoot poole or see a movie or something. I gave her the note and walked away.

Today I was called into my boss’s office. The girl was none to happy about the note, and had given it to her supervisor, who in turn gave it to the store manager. My boss (who is a woman) thought the note was very sweet, but said that she was still obliged to tell me that this woman wasn’t happy about it. Now I have to work in a place where I am afraid that everyone thinks I am a total freak. What was so bad about what I did to make this girl do that????? I feel like a total idiot.

Corey P


I would not worry about people laughing behind your back at your workplace. Maybe people would laugh behind your back if you were arrogant and cocky, but you are more a figure of pity and scorn. You are a total idiot, and this works in your favor. As far as this girl, I suggest you just continue to masturbate to the pictures you took at the last company outing. Don't even try to deny it, you sick little stalker. On the bright side, I think there is probably a chance that your boss will soon begin to sexually harass you.



I was recently involved in a very uncomfortable sexual experience. I do not really want to go into specific details. Even though my penis has healed, I do not think that I ever want to take off my clothes in front of another man again, let alone those involved or the people paying to watch. Also, I still find myself unable to watch Leno.

Ed S


If you involve yourself in extreme practices, you should be prepared to pay the consequences. Perhaps it would be good for you to slow down for awhile, maybe not participate in sexual activities that rate an audience. Have you considered Letterman?


Complaints: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link