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The finger on the invisible hand

Roberts Surprisingly Forthcoming

Thursday, September 15, 2005

(SNN Washington) John Roberts, likely to be the next chief Justice of the Supreme Court surprised Senate Democrats by being amazingly forthcoming with answers. Supporters say that Roberts's confirmation is virtually assured. Only the most extreme liberals on the Judiciary committee were disappointed with his answers.

In addition to his supporters saying that Roberts was forthcoming, Roberts himself said he was forthcoming. "I think I have been more forthcoming than any of the other nominees," said Roberts.

Some people were disappointed that Roberts refused to answer questions about Law, Society, Culture, Mathematics, or his personal views on important issues. The candidate did say that he enjoyed "Dr. Zhivago".

There was a tense moment between Roberts and Charles Schumer (D-NY), who said "It's as if I asked you if you would find it pleasurable for me stick my finger in your rectum, and you say 'I find many things pleasurable, you have a finger and I have a rectum.'" Roberts responded in a deadpan voice, "Only if you take me out to dinner, you sexy bitch."

Roberts stressed the importance of a Justice being a total enigma to the Senate the must confirm him. "Judges are not politicians. They cannot promise to do certain things in exchange for votes."

Another day of questioning is planned but with Republicans holding 55 of the Senate's 100 seats confirmation is highly likely. In the additional day, chances are that Roberts will provide very little fodder for extreme liberals such as Joe Biden and Arlen Specter.

Tee Hee!!!!!!!!!
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