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Skippy Pirates Software

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

For a long time, we have been reporting news about software piracy. Personally I am amazed at how many people were actually involved in the process of software piracy. So this week I decided that I would attempt piracy myself. I decided to make my target a big one – games for the Xbox 360. The Xbox 360 was supposed to be released this week, and there were huge shortages everywhere.

In order to prepare myself, I ordered some gear online, watched some films on piracy and waited for the big launch night. I should add that my friend Frank was instrumental though the support that he gave me, and the loan of his white, unmarked, windowless panel van. Frank’s panel van was instrumental to our plan, because our state is land locked and I was not able to find a large galley on such short notice.

Finally the night of the 360 launch came. We waited until midnight and then started slowly cruising the streets. Finally we found a group of teenagers. Each of them had a 360 under his arm and at least one game a piece.

We pulled up alongside the teenagers and I waved my cutlass at them and in my best pirate voice demanded their booty. Despite the cold 27” of steel they were facing, they seemed more confused than anything else. Finally, I said, “Give me your games, ye scurvy curs.”

They were reluctant and belligerent at first, calling my several names, despite the promise of cold steel. But then Frank leaped into action. You should have seen the look on their faces, when the side door of the van opened, and there was Frank, also in full pirate regalia, book ended by two 3” canon.

Frank first fired a warning shot over the heads of the teenagers. The 6 pound lead ball collapsed in several feet of the wall of the local post office. As Frank lowered the second canon to point at the teenagers, they suddenly changed their minds and handed over not only their games, but their new Xboxes as well.

All in all, Frank said that it was a successful night of piracy. He thinks we will make a lot of money selling the Xbox systems on EBay, even with the urine smell. Despite our success, I do not think I will try piracy again. It seems like quite a dangerous business, and I can see why it is so vilified.

James Skippenofsky, Skippy Does It All

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