Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Faithful readers, I want to let you know that I'm doing everything in my power to get you your news and information as you are accustomed from our humble service.
Despite our best efforts, we have been unable to remove your and my favorite advice columnist, Alice Humbees, from the local jail. It seems the judge that handled her arraignment and was a former love interest and the relationship ended badly.
James Skippenofsky is out of the hospital, but because of our affordable, yet sometimes hard to understand, health plan, he is being shipped off to a health spa in the Swiss Alps.
Personally, I have been working on lining up some guest columnists for your reading pleasure. We are hoping to have something up soon from Roy, former bus driver for Bob Dole.
Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000