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Go Ask Alice

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Alice Humbees has finally returned from her holiday incarceration. She's been holding her advice in all this time, and now, finally it's time to Go.

Are you sick with those bland syndicated advice columns? Alice Humbees has got the pill for you. Would you like to Go Ask Alice?

Alice

One of my wife's friends was poking around our computer and found some naked pictures of me. She emailed them to herself, and then she emailed me some naked pictures of herself to "make it fair". Is it ok if I keep the pictures?

Evan T

ET

You have already broken the trust between you and your wife by looking at the pictures without telling her about them. The right thing to do would have been to look at them together, pretend to laugh with your wife at how ugly her friend is, and memorize them for later masturbatory endeavors. Now the only thing you can do is delete them. But all is not lost. There are many non-for-profit websites on the internet that specialize in men who want to put naked pictures of their girlfriends/wives/mothers on the internet. Simply find a service you like, send them you pictures and you can delete them knowing you will always be able to get them back if you find your memory has gone slack.

Alice Humbees

Alice

You are the only person I have to turn to. I have met a wonderful man. He is kind and considerate, warm and sharing, and he cooks and cleans for me. A few months ago he asked me to marry him. Well, a couple of nights ago a couple of work friends took me out for a drink. Afterwards, I was driving past a local gay bar and saw my fiancé kissing another man. Should I break it off right away or confront him about it?

Amanda I

AI

You should do neither. Any man that perfect is obviously gay. Don't chase him off because you will never have it so good again. In the long run, having the perfect man in your life is well worth the price of having a husband that occasionally goes for a weekend trip with a special friend.

Alice


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