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The finger on the invisible hand

UAE CEO: America Needs to be Taught a Lesson

Sunday, March 05, 2006

(SNN Dubai) As U.S. lawmakers called today for an overhaul of the rules the United States uses for approving foreign management of facilities involved in national security, the CEO of Dubai Ports World offered to teach the American people a lesson.

"We need to educate the people in America that we are truly a global company, and it is not in our best interest to get into those areas where we feel or our customer feels that security is an issue," said Mohammed Sharaf of DP World.

Sharaf added that he had studies that showed that American workers were so lazy and shoddy that his firm could do a better job even if 23% were terrorists, and half of the remaining employees were serial rapists with a heroine addiction.

Critics of the deal have pointed out that some of the 911 hijackers came from the UAE, both California Rep. Duncan Hunter and Maine Sen. Susan Collins have planned legislation that would block the deal. The legislation is expected to be so popular that all kinds of crazy riders and pork deals will likely be added on, including Sen. Chuck Grassley's controversial proposition that would give every Iowan a $2000 tax credit for a HDTV system.

UAE Economy Minister Sheikha Lubna al-Qasimi said in an interview with CNN, "You can't actually accuse a country because of two," she told CNN. "Two do not make a nation." And in her defense 2 out of 911 is a very small number.

It was difficult for this reporter to stop from grabbing the hand of Minister al-Qasimi and declaring that two people could indeed make a nation, sweeping her off her feet and making sure she never knew hardship again. All that stopped me was that I could tell by the way she was dressed that she was about to go scuba diving, and the armed bodyguard.

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