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Bush’s Plan to Seal Border

Monday, May 15, 2006

(SNN Washington) Tonight, President Bush is expected to announce his plan to send National Guard troops to patrol the Southern Border. White House sources claim a permanent Guard presence along the border is not being considered.

The President’s plan is simple.

The President’s plan is simple. National Guard troops are going to stretch a giant rubber sheet across the border. Mexicans attempting to cross the border with bounce harmlessly back into Mexico. This plan has been criticized by some people who say it is really stupid.

It is hoped that this temporary measure by the President will massively diminish bad press the White House has gotten over immigration. The troops are expected to be stationed along the border until the midterm elections.

President Bush thought of the plan while wetting his bed. However, the First Lady Laura Bush has said that she refuses to believe that George was the one who wet the bed. Mrs. Bush said yesterday, “I travel around the country. I see people, I see their responses to my husband. I see their response to me. Their responses are not the kind of responses people have to bedwetters.”


Complaints:
O.K., I forgive you for the granny article. I loved this one. Yes, that is where such an individual would get the idea of putting rubber around the border. He probably enjoys rubber in a number of ways that don't include bridge playing. He's an asshole. The biggest asshole. Hmmm. Do you think being toilet paper is worse than being an asshole. No, t.p. connotes a reactive sense. Perhaps he's a tapeworm. Anyhow, I hate him and think he's really dumb.
 
He's worse than the boy friend that wants anal sex, he is the buttplug that desires both pleasures of the penetration and the spincter stretching; he is greedy. Once he is in, he wants to stay a long time past the point of comfort. Though he sees himself as one of his enormous size 12 extreme colleagues, he is only the little finger size but with an annoying whine the inflames the colon. Who would desire to be the buttplug? A proper leader in the modern sense wants to be the sodomizer not the Decider. There is definitely something wrong when our leaders can't get off by anal raping the little guy anymore; they want our assholes too!
 
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