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Editor's Note: Support Hastert

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I just learned an amazing piece of our nation's history. After receiving a $100,000 speaking fee for appearing at an Amway event, House Speaker Newt Gingrich arranged a last minute alteration to a tax bill that gave Amway a reported $283 million tax break. That's an amazing 283000% return. What a bargain.

I am prepared to offer the same deal to the current Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert. Now, I don't have $100,000 handy, but I do have $100. At the same exchange rate, my $100 should get me a $283,000 cut on my taxes. If this works out well, I am even willing to make the same deal with Hastert next year.

Although, it is quite possible that Gingrich gave the $283 million to Amway because of the effect of their business on the American economy. If this is indeed the case, I will also attempt to use the money I save in taxes to rip off a bunch of rubes with a cheesy pyramid scheme.

So, if Speaker Hastert, or any of his staff, are reading this, contact me. I have a C-note waiting for you.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, editor, NewsBlog 5000


Complaints:
The head of Amway is running for Governor in some state.

Michigan, is it?

Wisconsin?

The company has been renamed to something Qixotic.
 
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