NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Editor's Note: Support Hastert

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I just learned an amazing piece of our nation's history. After receiving a $100,000 speaking fee for appearing at an Amway event, House Speaker Newt Gingrich arranged a last minute alteration to a tax bill that gave Amway a reported $283 million tax break. That's an amazing 283000% return. What a bargain.

I am prepared to offer the same deal to the current Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert. Now, I don't have $100,000 handy, but I do have $100. At the same exchange rate, my $100 should get me a $283,000 cut on my taxes. If this works out well, I am even willing to make the same deal with Hastert next year.

Although, it is quite possible that Gingrich gave the $283 million to Amway because of the effect of their business on the American economy. If this is indeed the case, I will also attempt to use the money I save in taxes to rip off a bunch of rubes with a cheesy pyramid scheme.

So, if Speaker Hastert, or any of his staff, are reading this, contact me. I have a C-note waiting for you.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, editor, NewsBlog 5000

The head of Amway is running for Governor in some state.

Michigan, is it?


The company has been renamed to something Qixotic.
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