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Editor's Note: Get Out of Town

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

While I was stuck at home all weekend trying to figure out this whole North Korean thing, apparently all hell broke loose in the Middle East. Now there's no way I can expense my model of the Taepodong II.

With the impending destruction of Lebanon, the United States is dutifully evacuating all its citizens. However, some liberals are complaining that the US government may charge its citizens $300 to be evacuated. I contend that $300 might be a lot of money in Beirut, but in the USA it's nothing. I spent that much on my last iPod accessory.

Seriously, what American sits at home in the comfort of their reclining couch drinking a cold beer and thinks, 'I think I'm going to vacation in Beirut this year.' Ok, maybe it does depend on how many beers they've put down. And why would someone go to a Lebanese University to study Arabic, when we give out student Visas like candy. This is America. The Arabic speakers should want to come here.

I think that if you want to live in a foreign country, you should have to pay a deposit. The world is currently so volatile that you can expect to be evacuated from just about any country you can imagine, except for possibly England and of course Iraq, which gets safer by the day.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000