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The finger on the invisible hand

Oil Executives Replaced

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

(SNN Washington) A newly discovered White House document shows that big oil executives met with Vice President Cheney’s energy task force in 2001. But big oil executives were denying that they had met with the president just last week. There is only one explanation for this: the executives of big oil have been replaced by aliens.

Oil executives claimed that they were not involved in the energy plan.

The document shows that officials from Exxon Mobil Corp., Conoco, Shell Oil Co. and BP America Inc. met in the White House complex with the Cheney aides who were developing a national energy policy, parts of which became law.

But in testimony before congress last week, the same big oil executives claimed that they either were not involved or did not recall being involved in the energy plan. Because we all know that energy company executives are the good guys, merely trying to bring us the power we need at an affordable price in order to drive the economy, there is only one logical reason why these energy executives would give false or misleading information to congress, they are not in fact the executives, but have been replaced by aliens.

Energy company executives are the good guys, merely trying to bring us the power we need

Towards the end of their hearing, Sen. Frank Lautenberg asked the executives, “Where you or any representatives of your companies replaced by aliens in 2001?

"No," said Raymond.

"No," said Chevron Chairman David J. O'Reilly.

"We did not, no," said ConocoPhillips chairman James Mulva.

"To be honest, I don't know," said BP America chief executive Ross Pillari, who came to the job in August 2001. "I wasn't here then."

Shell Oil president John Hofmeister, who has held his job since earlier this year, and may have been the only executive present not to be an alien, answered last. "Not to my knowledge," he said.

Not only do I not recall the event in question, I don't recall giving the answer you said I did.

I mean, I look at the transcript and see that someone wrote down that I, assuming it was me, gave a definitive answer.

And I see the video where someone who clearly looks like me (although they aren't wearing these clothes, and these clothes are certainly mine) is saying what you say I said, but what does that really prove?

Like I said, I don't recall.
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