NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

Editor's Note: Oh Say, can you Sing the National Anthem?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Last night on nightline, I was appalled to find out that over sixty percent of the people in the country do not know the words to the Stat Spangled Banner. What was even more shocking was that many Congressmen questioned by nightline were unable to recite the word to the pledge. And at the height of hypocrisy, the reporter interviewing those lawmakers also admitted her ignorance at what it means to be an American.

While the actual song may be made of up a gibberish poem set to an English Drinking song, knowing those words is part of being an American. And the President agrees with me on that. "I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English. And they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English," said President Bush.

I propose that we temporarily revoke U.S. citizenship from anyone who can not sing the Anthem. It can be quickly returned once they learn the national anthem. Everyone who doesn't know the pledge will be issued with "Guest Worker Cards" until they can prove that they know the anthem and a few key facts about how our government works and American History. For instance, the question, "Explain the concept of Manifest Destiny and list three bible verses that back up this concept."

In addition, we should temporarily suspend Congress until such time as ever member knows the anthem. Of course, this will put a massive amount of power in the Executive Branch, but George W. can handle it. He knows the national anthem in English and Spanish.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, Newsblog 5000


Complaints:
PLEASSSSSSE!!!!!

At least quote the Prezident Korrektly. He never says "O-U-G-H-T"! It is always "A-U-T-T"! Everyone that is a serious journalist knows this.

Gee.
 
English? He can't even pronounce nuclear. Says Nu-Kuh-lar. What an asshole. (Illiterate asshole.)
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link