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Editor's Note: Up Yours Connecticut

Monday, August 14, 2006

It's amazing how one week can change your life view. Last week, I left for Iraq to stage a counter protest against anti-American Iraqi naysayers. Today I return to you with a whole new view of Iraq.

It all started when I was walking through the Green Zone with my Marine escort. I was explaining to the young men that they were drastically overpaid for getting to work in such a nice safe place, when we were somehow separated. I ended up wandering into a not green zone.

I was then picked up by some of the new Iraqi police. Once they found out that I was an American, and willing to pay for my safety, they immediately warmed up to me. I then went on a tour of the "Real" Baghdad. Baghdad is a conservative wonderland: no young girls dressed like Britney Spears, no big government wasting money on things like utilities, and no gun control. I even got to participate in the stoning of a wanton woman.

But let's turn away from the good Christian people of Iraq and turn to the heathen al-Qaeda supporting region of Connecticut. While I was gone, Connecticut voted to throw out Holy Joe Lieberman and replace him with a liberal pansy named Ned Lamont.

Connecticut, nominating Ned Lamont sends a clear message to the terrorists: "Come to Connecticut and let us rub hot oil on your aching terrorist shoulders." But I'm not going to blame you for your past mistakes. All you need to do is re-elect Joe Lieberman and tell those terrorists, "You'll find no happy endings in this state."

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000


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