NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

Burger King Employee Not Committed to Flame Broiling

Monday, October 23, 2006

(SNN Farmington Hills) In a Burger King store much like any other, there is a young employee much like any other. He makes fries, he serves drinks and he stack patty after patty of flame broiled hamburger. But this employee is different. He has lost his faith.

For the purposes of this article, we will call him Mike. Mike has worked at the “BK” for nearly seven years. However, now he is beginning to think that people should not eat pound after pound of flame broiled meat.

“When you are young, you have a Whopper Jr. or maybe a kids meal, and you think, ‘This is it. When I grow up, I’ll be able to eat a whole Whopper.”

But the innocence of Mike’s childhood has been betrayed. “It’s like they didn’t know when to stop. Deep down, I always thought the Double Whopper was going too far. I managed to hold my tongue with the Rodeo Cheeseburger. But when they came out with the Stacker, I knew they had gone too far.”

In 2006, Burger King unveiled the BK Stacker. The sandwich consists of layers of beef patties, bacon and cheese. This might not have upset Mike, but there was one catch. “Four layers is just too much,” Mike tells us. “I mean three would have been excessive, but four is madness. I’m beginning to thing that the whole concept of flame broiling might be bogus. I disguised myself and ate a place that steamed their burgers the other day, and they weren’t that bad.”

So now Mike is forced to live every day in fear that his faith will be discovered. “Those commercials with the Burger King invading people’s homes are not just commercials. They are a warning.”

So Mike gets up and goes to work every day, knowing it might be his last. Hoping that customers ordering the four layer BK Stackers don’t see his look of disapproval, or at least don’t tell his managers. “All I can do,” Mike tells us, “is hope they come back to their senses. Until then, I’ll just have to take it one day at a time.”


Complaints:
It would take for ever to eat a thriple stacked Burger king burger! Poor "Mike", maybe he should find a job at an Italian place.
 
Hey Blue, think we can get "Mike" a job at Deano's Pizza? But then, he might think the "Cajun Executioner" was excessive (oh, but how excessive... slobber slobber...).

- Badtux the Italian Penguin
 
Cajun Executioner? Sounds like a "Special Report" to me.

NewsBlog 5000
Special Report
When Food Attacks
 
Ooh yeah, the Cajun Executioner pizza will kill ya. But you'll die with a smile on your face!

-- Badtux the Blissful Penguin
 
Someone should confront Burger King about the use of migdets. It is one thing to empower a dwarf, it is another thing to pick midget meat out from between your teeth. You'd think they be like veal, soft and tender. Instead they're all gristling and really angry!
 
Post a Comment