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Editor's Note: The Colbert Defection

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I have often spoken of my great admiration for neo-con pundit Stephen Colbert. But something has always bothered me about Colbert. Something seemed disingenuous, like he did not literally mean everything that he said.

Tonight, I saw the final straw. Stephen Colbert being kissed by Hanoi Jane Fonda. While he did force her to cook for him, he did not insist that she take off her shoes, or keep her mouth shut for being a traitor. Therefore, I must put Stephen Colbert's television show, The Colbert Report, on The Banned List.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000

Aw, cut him some slack. Even Colbert can only go so far. It is television after, all.
You love that show and I know it. There is nothing short of an automic blast that would keep you from watching it. Ooops, uh, I forgot about North Korea. Oh well.
I haven't done the automic blast since my breakdancing days. I would moonwalk into a Flic-Flac and then Hangglide into a 1990. Finally, I would kick it down to the Automic Blast.
I often wondered about automs. I hear that automatons are made-up primarily of automs (not like us, who are made up of atoms).

But I don't get the automic blast/North Korea connection. A Republican "friend" (and I use the term "friend" very liberally) was telling me that N. Korea had tested a nuclear device. He didn't get to tell me more because his mobile phone made a weird noise (I could swear it sounded like a teenage kid squeeling); apparently something urgent came over his Yahoo Mobile Messenger and he quickly ran into the nearest gas station rest room.

So, is N. Korea blasting Automatons in their nuclear device testing?

Oh, as for Steven Colbert - even Jane Fonda couldn't resist the Neo-Neo-Con Slab of Truthyness that is Steven Colbert. Don't blame Steven, it wasn't his fault.

Gloria was kind of slow in kissing him. Maybe if Jane had kissed her...and then Steven took some of the ice cream, and then...
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