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The finger on the invisible hand

Rumsfeld: Let’s try something new

Saturday, December 02, 2006

(SNN Washington) Just days before he leaves the cabinet, Donald Rumsfeld has sent a memo to the Bush Administration. In the memo, Mr. Rumsfeld has asked for a very different approach in how the war is being fought.

Rumsfeld does his Great Carnac impersonation

In variance to earlier statements, Sec. Rumsfeld actually pointed to troop reduction as a possibility. The memo suggests several possible troop redeployments. Included in these redeployments are what are called “reverse imbeds”, where Iraqi troops would work in the field with American troops and ultimately be used as human shields. Rumsfeld says that this way the Iraqis can “pull up their socks,” which will put them in a position consistent with what he plans to do to them.

Mr. Rumsfeld also supports the radical idea of withholding reconstruction money from areas where the areas where fighting is stronger. Basically this would take a “Blow up the hospital I just rebuild once, shame on you. Blow up the hospital I just rebuild twice, shame on me” tactic to deciding where funds go.

Another option by the Secretary suggests the withdrawal of troops from “vulnerable positions” such as Baghdad and other Iraqi cities and redeploying them to safer areas such as Kuwait, the Welsh countryside, or perhaps upstate New York.

This new information begs the question of just exactly why didn’t the Secretary suggest these courses of actions while he still had enough time to implement them. It can only be guessed that while he was left in charge his ego grew so big, he could not see what was in front of his face.

Rumsfeld also borrowed a page from Saddam’s book on how to run Iraq. He suggested that the United States bribe key political and religious leaders to help them to rough times. This would join the other page Rumsfeld borrowed from Saddam’s book: torture anyone that may be sympathetic to my enemies.

The memo, obtained by the New York Times, also included a picture of President Bush having sex with a small dog. It is not known if this illustration was added by the Secretary of Defense, or at a later time.

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