NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand

Editor’s Note: Far From Home

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Faithful readers, I am writing to you from an internet café in Seoul. I thought I would give you a run down on my activities to date.

I had hoped that, by this time, I would be making my way across the DMZ. Unfortunately, I seem to have come to South Korea unprepared. I thought it would be relatively easy for me to find my contact Lee, and I wrote down only minimal information about him. I was, quite frankly, unprepared for the number of men in Korea named Lee.

Earlier, this week, I thought I may have found a clue as to where my sympathetic arms merchant might be. However, it turned out that it was just a bar that was owned by an entire family of Lees. However, on the bright side, the Lees made a wonderful Buchimgae.

I will continue to try for the next few weeks to complete my mission and assassinate Kim Jung Il. However, if I am unable to obtain weapons and a safe path through the DMZ, I will be forced to return to the USA. Upon return, I hope to destroy another one of America’s greatest enemies: Hillary Clinton.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000

UHHH, do you think it's a good idea to blab this all over the internet?
I wish you luck on your return.

Less than one hundred people read any of our blogs.

Now just how much trouble do you think 5000 can get into when the rest of the world of almost seven billion people doesn't even know he exists?

All over the internet, that is funny.

All we are doing is fucking around so why be paranoid about it?

Maybe if you just sang some good Elvis tunes to nutcase over there it would do the trick for you. Kill him with jealousy.
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