NewsBlog 5000
The finger on the invisible hand
 

Editor’s Note: A New Road

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I started NewsBlog 5000 in 2004. George W. Bush had just been re-elected, we were staying the course and we had a fully funded staff. Now the thought of those three things seem to just leave the taste bitter ashes in my mouth.

With a heavy heart, I feel it necessary to shut down our online magazine, known as NewsBlog 5000. This is not the hopeful world which we had foreseen. Despite our persistence, the Neocon movement has fallen far short of the goal of total control in perpetuity.

And while I hear that we are going to be attacking Iran and Syria soon, what about the original Axis of Evil. Kim Jung Il still sits atop his golden throne in North Korea, and the greatest military force every assembled can do nothing about it.

Well, I say that it is time to fight back. I will not rest until the United States is in at War with every part of the Evil world. Tonight I leave for Seoul, South Korea. There I am to meet a man named Lee, who will supply me with a small cache of weapons and transport me to the DMZ.

If all goes well, by this time next month, I will be looting Kim Jung Il’s corpse for souvenirs.

Farewell, loyal readers. Hopefully you should hear from me in six to eight weeks. If not, then this is goodbye.

Dr. Ryan Maynard, Editor, NewsBlog 5000


Complaints:
Huh???
 
Oh BULLSHIT!!!! If you go away, I will cry buckets of tears. You are FORBIDDEN to leave, you hear me? FORBIDDEN!!!!!
 
boob boob boob boob boob
 
NOOOOOOOOO.....
dang! well you must do what you must do.
I will sure miss your great sense of humor.

if & when you come back, stop by.
 
Bring me some Elvis memorabilia from the smoking ruin of Kim Jong Il's place when you get back...
 
I still miss you. And I WILL NOT say good-bye to you. I will check back often and leave you a message.
Oh, and GOOD LUCK & BEST WISHES!!!!
 
Oh for Pete's sake. You're just bored, jaded, busy with another project or spending too much time having internet sex. The people who read your blog are dismayed, depressed, confused, etc (see notes left re this blog entry) and they don't like it at all. Uh, well, maybe they're depressed, dismayed, confused, etc regardless of your writing or not. Huh.
 
How did anonymous know about that internet sex thing? Damn spy.
Oh, I MISS YOU!!!
 
It is only through rigid adherence to the provisions of the Party Five Year Plan that..,
 
Just dropping by to say Ola and we STILL miss you.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link