NewsBlog 5000
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Steve Jobs kills at shareholders meeting

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Jobs practices the five point palm exploding heart technique

(SNN Silicon Valley) The performance of Steve Jobs at Apples annual meeting yesterday has been called “outrageous”. Jobs refused to answer a question of a board director and laughed at the idea of giving back stock received in exchange for backdated options.

Teamsters representative Noa Oren tried to ask William Campbell, Apple’s co-lead director and the head of its compensation committee, about Jobs’ pay. Jobs grabbed a katana ran across the table and chopped off Oren’s head. Then he stated “As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my compensation package or stock options as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!”

Apple directors Bill Campbell, chairman of Intuit; Arthur Levinson, CEO of Genentech; and Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, who all attended the meeting, were unavailable for comment afterward and did not return calls later.


Complaints:
That explaings the success of Ipods.
 
Sometimes I have a bit of a problem following what I guess is your satire.

But I don't own anything Apple related so I've not helped make those folks filthy rich.

But I sure would like to see them being taxed a lot more.
 
Hmm? It's satire? Man, I must look like an ass (besides my normal looks) when I debate this stuff with the other people at the bus depot.

If John McCain and Mit Romney aren't gay as according to NewsBlog5000, then Tommy who rides to work at Walmart might just right. That John McCain and Mit Romney are godless alien sodomites trying to propagate their species among the poor and ignorant. Turkey Jizz!!!

Actually, NB5k transcends both truth and satire; it is Truthinesstire.
 
Ha!
I used to think he was sort of the anti-establishment.
He's the establishment.
 
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