Pope attacks Pope
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
(SNN Rome) A German man jumped a security barrier and grabbed Pope Benedict XVI’s popemobile before being swarmed by security guards Wednesday. The man was identified as a 27-year-old German who showed signs of “mental imbalance”, but the truth is stranger than that.
In 1944, things were not going well for Nazi Germany. Hitler commissioned his scientists to build a machine to send him into an alternate universe, one were he was winning the war. He planned to kill his counterpart and establish a one world Reich. The scientists, under the threat of death if they failed to produce results, managed to build a machine that could bridge the dimensional gap, but needed a human subject to test their device on. A soldier by the name of Joseph Ratzinger, recently removed from the infantry due to sickness was unwittingly recruited for the job.
While the Nazi machine was able to breach the dimensional gap, it became unstable when subjected to human DNA. Rather than send Ratzinger into an alternate dimension, it brought an alternate Ratzinger to ours. The alternate Ratzinger hops back and forth through time, never knowing when or where he will end up. His only hope is to somehow rejoin his self from this universe, who does not know of the Nazi experiment or his existence, so that they can jointly unleash the divine power of the Vatican and find his way home.