(SSN KY)Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is about to tell the nation something so shocking that it may never be the same again.

Frist has personally headed movements to exploit the rules to stop more Clinton judicial nominees.

Frist is leading a showdown. He is attempting to rewrite a long running rule that stops a controlling party from completely dominating the judicial branch and protects checks and balances. Frist has personally headed movements to exploit the rules to stop more Clinton judicial nominees. This shocks no one.

On April 24th, Frist will travel to a Kentucky megachuch for an evening dubbed “Justice Sunday”, where he will join those that claim Democrats are “against people of faith” for blocking President Bush’s judicial nominees. This is not the thing that will shock the nation.

It is rumored that Frist, despite depicting himself as the consulting doctor for the Senate and offering shaky medical opinions that supported his positions exclusively, may be making a run for president in 2008. This is not the thing that will shock the country.

Frist will state firmly that it is harder for a Democrat to get into heaven

Our exclusive sources have found out that on April 24th in Kentucky, Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist will announce that he is the Lord God, Jesus Christ, returned to earth. It is widely hoped that Frist’s divinity will stop argument as to whether or not the extreme protestant right constitutes the only real faith.

God will appear on stage with Dr. James C. Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family; Chuck Colson, the born-again Watergate figure and founder of Prison Fellowship Ministries; and Dr. Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Lord Frist will state firmly that it is harder for a Democrat to get into heaven than a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

This announcement comes at an advantageous time. It is expected that the conclave in Rome will dissolve selection of a new Pope in deference to Dr. Frist’s divinity. Upon receiving the position of Pope, Frist plans to dissolve the astronomical wealth of the Vatican to feed the rich.

The Lord Dr. Frist's spokesman said that in the telecast the Lord God returned to Earth would reflect his previous remarks on judicial appointments. In the past he has consistently balanced a determination "not to yield" on the president's nominees with appeals to the Democrats for compromise. Mr. Stevenson said, adding, "He has spoken to groups all across the nation to press that point, and as long as a minority of Democrats continue to block a vote, he will continue to do so."

posted by NewsBlog 5000  # Monday, April 18, 2005