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Alberto Predicted to become Hurricane

Monday, June 12, 2006

(SSN Tallahassee) After being named as the Nations 80th attorney General in 2005, Alberto Gonzales has set is sites on a different type of career. As Alberto gains strength, forecasters believe he shall soon be upgraded to hurricane status.

Governor Jeb Bush was quick to warn Floridians about the dangers of Alberto. "We're talking about powerful forces of nature," Gov. Bush said. "People need to take this very seriously."

Bush signed a declaration of emergency that allows him to call up the National Guard and put in place laws against price gouging. It is this kind of disrespect for the free market that guaranteed Jeb was overlooked for a presidential bid, in favor of his idiot brother.

Alberto visited Havana throughout the weekend. The official news agency in Prensa Latina has reported some minor street flooding and the collapse of a handful of old buildings. It does not seem Alberto caused any major injuries.

If Alberto Gonzalez does turn into a hurricane, NOAA believes this will be the first time on record that such a high ranking person of Mexican descent has become weather.

Ha ha. They're all assholes.
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